Burlesque Bustle Skirt, Long Buskle Petticoat, Burlesque Lingerie Accessories

I made a burlesque bustle skirt once. Never again!  Well, when I say made it… perhaps I should be more specific by saying I attempted to make it.  I thought I would share my story of this event in the hope that others may heed my pain story and resort to more realistic measures of obtaining burlesque bustle skirts.   I had a Moulin Rouge fancy dress party to go to so I decided to be all clever and make my own costume - the aforementioned burlesque style bustle thing.  It bothers me though: I’m sure I would’ve mentioned my intention to somebody at the time… question is WHY DIDN’T THEY STOP ME?? 
 
Here are the steps for burlesque bustle skirt production (the way I see it).  Firstly, gather the materials required.  Your choice of pretty coloured satin fabric and tulle (lots if you want a long skirt; not so much for a short skirt),  safety pins (big suckers),  an assortment of needles, matching cotton, a tape measure… and one perfectly chilled bottle of wine (to calm the nerves… purely medicinal).  Did I mention how stressful making a burlesque bustle skirt would be?
 
Next, measure and cut the fabric and the tulle so that they can be pinned together and then sewn in a nice, potential burlesque bustle skirt shape.  Try not to swear as you realise you’ve stuffed it up and you need to do another trip back to the shops for more satin.  Focus this time and get it right for god sake (opening the wine will help at this important stage).  Pin one piece a little higher so it can be folded over and made into the waistband.  Time to make the ruffles!  You are so excited you tip your wine glass over (into your mouth)… you will need to pour another before you proceed.
 
It will be looking more like a burlesque bustle skirt once you get the ruffles all stitched into place.  Do as many ruffles as you like although bear in mind your butt is enhanced with every ruffle you wrap round it.  You can also try it on at this stage so you can check measurements and adjust accordingly, which is perfect timing for a compulsory dance to Girls Just Wanna Have Fu-un, which just happened to come on the radio… and god how you love this song!  Right about now your girlfriend walks in and folds up laughing at you and your hideous burlesque bustle skirt and you both end up in a drunken giggle fit.  Knit one, purl one.  Have another one?  After regaining control, you then realise how bloody awful you look and that surely the burlesque bustle skirt fairy must have snuck in and fiddled with your equipment because you certainly didn’t cut it like that (hic).
 
Finally, throw the entire burlesque bustle skirt fiasco onto the floor… finish off the second bottle of wine (didn’t you buy two?) and shop online for one instead.  You might have saved yourself the trouble… and the hangover, and done this to start with!