Shoe Sales, Shoes on Sale, Discounted Shoes
The Shoe Sales are on…. the Shoe Sales are on… GET OUT OF MY WAY!!! Geez, why is it, whenever you’re in a hurry, everything decides to go wrong! I’d been waiting for months for this day. The day when my most favourite shoes, at my most favourite shoe shop, of all time, would be on sale. And not just a namby pamby, couple of bucks kind of sale – No! I’m talking the huge mother of all Shoe Sales where prices were rumoured to be plummeting to an outrageous all-time low… practically FREE! And with the first hour being doors open for members of the SSS (Special Shoe Sales club) only, I was ready to spend!
Shoe Sales meant nothing to my flatmate of course. She wouldn’t know a fabulous pair of shoes if they came up to her and slapped themselves in her face. And that was just about what I intended to do to her if she continued rabbitting on any longer and delaying me from getting out our front door. Now was not the time for her to have a meltdown about some twat of a boyfriend breaking up with her… and I didn’t care what revolting disease he’d left her with – I HAD TO GET TO THE SHOE SALES!!!
I pretended to go to the loo but instead slipped out the bathroom window and onto the fire escape where I discovered, to my horror… I’d left my car keys and mobile phone on the coffee table – beside the crying flatmate. Oh lord what next! The bus, I would catch the bus. People do it all the time don’t they? Surely I could manage that. I was impressed by the lengths I was going to, just to get to these Shoe Sales.
They’d better be bloody good Shoes Sales, I thought to myself as I chugged along in the bus, sitting next to a fat man who coughed a lot and smelt of burnt socks. I was becoming more and more anxious with every street we turned… it meant we were getting closer and closer to my shoes. And gorgeous shoes, shoes that were sitting there… waiting for me! I could see the final corner up ahead. The fat, smelly coughing man got up to push the buzzer but I was already way ahead of him and launched myself across two rows of people to hit the switch. On my way I caught my beaded necklace round the edge of the seat – and yes, you guessed it, beads rolled everywhere!
I bought 14 pairs of shoes at the Shoe Sales that day. And I didn’t care that my flatmate wasn’t talking to me, my necklace was destroyed and I smelt like an old man’s burnt socks. I had made it through to the edge and back – I had conquered the mighty Shoe Sales!