Wiggle Dress, 50s, 1950s Dress, Vintage Retro Dress

Rather than tell you what a Wiggle Dress is… would it would be easier to tell you what its not?  Or would it make more sense for me to just show you?  My smarty pants sister, she who was recently graduated from fashion design school, knew all there was to know about clothing AND shopping too, it turned out.  
 
We could go round the shops and I can show you what a Wiggle Dress is supposed to look like?  She offered, with a look that made me feel like a drongo.  I bit my tongue and resisted the temptation to tell her to shove off and that I didn’t need help.  The fact was - I did.  Going to my work’s end-of-year ball with the theme being The Fifties, I didn’t really know where to start.  All I did know was that I had to look a knock-out… I had to turn heads and I had to be gorgeous.  But more importantly, I needed to be threatening to my competition for the promotion currently up for grabs.  My dress had to scream to the boss – pick me!
 
I’d googled Wiggle Dress online but found it all too vague.  It seemed any dress that hugged you tightly enough to cut off your circulation was classed as a Wiggle Dress.  It also seemed that many other types of dresses had slipped their way under the heading of Wiggle Dress as well…  even though it was obvious there would be no compulsory wiggling in any of them.  A mini dress was absolutely not a Wiggle Dress, my snooty sister advised, and anything with a slit up the leg was also definitely out. 
 
In a true Wiggle Dress, my sister was in full lecture mode now… the hem at the bottom has to be less in width, than the waist.  Thus causing your legs to close together at the knees, and therefore making you ‘wiggle’ when you walk.  A bit like you with that on.  She motioned at the outfit I had on, my tight skirt revealing a squished and bloated abdomen.   A day of shopping, pigging out at lunch and then the milkshake at our ‘rest’ stop had reared its ugly head.  I hated her – skinny bitch!  So you’re saying I’m fat?  I couldn’t help but provoke her.  For god sake, she didn’t even have hips, let alone understand the wiggle required for the wearing of a Wiggle Dress!